Gm football fans. Route One here, the only football newsletter that sticks to its New Year’s Resolutions.

One out-of-character soppy note before we crack into the first edition of R1 2024…

We hope you had a lovely Christmas and New Year’s break. We did, and we have the love handles to show for it.

Our holiday break was lovely, thanks for asking. But we’re happy to be back to our normal Monday-to-Friday release schedule.

Last thing, we have a lot of cool things planned for this year which we are excited to tell you about over the next few months. :)

Let’s dive straight in…

Today’s briefing is a ~5 min read:

1. 4 interesting things in the Prem right now 🤔

2. Helen Chamberlain: the most talented football presenter ever 🤯

3. Extra time: Rory Delap eat your heart out… 👐

Morning Brief 🗞️

4 INTERESTING THINGS IN THE PREM 🤔

1/ DID SOMEBODY SAY… MORE GOALS? 📈

Yes, that’s right. The Premier League is producing more goals this season than ever before.

And you wouldn't believe just how much…

The Premier League is averaging 3.16 goals per game, comfortably the highest return in history and way above the best average of 2.85 that was set last season.

Why? Well, the Telegraph thinks it’s because coaches are being bolder.

Teams are now averaging 54.3 touches per game in the opposition box, up from 49.5 last season and a mere 40.7 in 2008/09.

2/ BANG FOR YA BUCK. 💸

This season has been great for ticket-holders but not-so-great for players’ legs…

Premier League games are, on average, three minutes and 21 seconds longer than last season.

And… the ball has been in play for three minutes and 34 seconds longer this season.

Longer games mean more late goals. There has been a 5% jump this season compared to last in goals scored in second-half stoppage time.

The lesson: you shouldn't leave the stadium early, no matter the score.

3/ PAINTING THE PREM RED. 🔴

The #1 thing that has stood out for most fans is… the number of bookings this season.

By the first 140 games in the league, we’ve seen the red card exit the ref’s pocket more than the whole of last season's.

Don’t get us started on yellow cards…

• Refs are quicker off the mark. They’ve issued 262 yellows within the opening half hour, around 1.9 per game. That’s up from 1.2 last season and 1.1 in 2021/22.

• VAR is snitching. Six red cards were issued this season after VAR intervention. Boooo! 

• Liverpool and Burnley are the Prem’s bad boys. Both clubs lead with four red cards this season and are five off the season record by a single club.

As the oldies like to remind us, the “games gone soft”. At this rate, we agree with them.

4/ THE 12TH MAN IS BACK. 🗣️

Remember that big thing that happened a couple of years ago?

We can’t remember the name either… but it started with a C and ended with a 19.

Well, anyway, it has been shown that during that period (when crowds weren’t allowed in the stadium), teams lost their home advantage.

Guess what, Router, the 12th man is back and thriving.

Teams playing at home are winning almost 50% of the time, whereas away sides win just over 30%.

And if that doesn’t convince you, take a look at this table…

Even Sheffield Utd are positive when it comes to points per game at home.

Nuff said…

HELEN CHAMBERLAIN: THE MOST TALENTED FOOTBALL PRESENTER IN HISTORY 🤩

First things first…

Who is Helen Chamberlain?

She’s not exactly a household name, but you’ll know her if you see her.

Or you may remember that she was the original presenter of the most iconic football show to date… Soccer AM.

While she was presenter, Soccer AM was reaching around 300,000 viewers per week and was the most-watched sports programme in Britain after live football.

So, in short, it was a big success.

But here’s the crazy part… Soccer AM may be the least of her achievements. Chamberlain was prolific in virtually every walk of life - and it’s both shocking and funny.

1/ SHE BEAT ERIC BRISTOW IN A GAME OF DARTS-CRICKET

Darts-cricket = a player tries to hit each number and the bullseye three times.

Eric Bristow = a five-time darts World Champion, a five-time darts World Masters Champion, and a four-time darts World Cup singles champion. 

So the chances of a TV presenter beating Birstow at any darts-related game is like beating David Beckham at a cross-bar challenge in his prime. 

“On that day I just hit everything. Eric said ‘well done’ at the end, but I could tell he was seething,” recalls Chamberlain. 

2/ SHE WON $400,000 AT THE 2005 POKER MILLION TOURNAMENT

OK, maybe beating a Birstow at his own game was just a fluke.

Every dog has its day, and she must’ve used all her lucky tokens to beat the darts World Champion, right? 

Think again. 

During her prime years as a presenter, Chamberlain found time to compete in the 2005 Poker Million tournament, Europe’s richest televised poker tournament. 

Chamberlain - or ‘Hells Bells’ as she was more commonly known - finished second place which meant she took home winnings of $400,000. 

3/ HER HORSE WON $50,000

She then used her poker winnings to buy a German racehorse - Birkspiel.

For his first run for Chamberlain, in April 2006, Birkspiel won a $50,000 Group 3 race in Baden-Baden, Germany.

Not a big fan of travelling, Hells Bells chose to watch the race online with the Soccer AM crew.

4/ SHE BEAT MICHAEL OWEN IN A RACE

While she may not have been on top of Birkspiel across the finish line, she did once win a race herself that shocked everyone - even herself.

When Ballon d’Or winner and ex-Liverpool striker Michael Owen offered to race Chamberlain, she was confused at first.

The England striker was known for his blistering pace so the odds were stacked against her.

But, never one to back down from a challenge, Chamberlain accepted.

Though she was dressed in a skirt and a pair of boots, Owen simply couldn’t catch her even in his ”special running trainers” that he wore for the race. 

Owen, the self-proclaimed best footballer in the world by age seven, had been beaten by Helen Chamberlain in a race. At that moment, he decided to call it a day and hang up his boots. 

The full race clip can be found here. 🤣

EXTRA-TIME ⏱️

Neville and Carragher have picked their Premier League team of the season so far. Spoiler alert… Nev uses a 4-2-4 and it’s become clearer why things didn’t work out at Sevilla…

It was a close call for Jurgen Klopp on the weekend. Not because of the game against Newcastle… but because he nearly lost his wedding ring on the Anfield pitch. We’ve never seen him so scared.

Is there anything more satisfying than Luka Modric’s trivela? We’ll have this on repeat in the office for the rest of the day.

Rory Delap… who? With one front flip, this player threw the ball almost the entire length of the pitch. We hope someone starts doing this in the Premier League.

Don’t be surprised by Guglielmo Vicario’s great start at Spurs, he has always been impressive in the net. A clip of his triple save against Roma last season for Empoli has resurfaced, making his £17.2m transfer fee look an absolute steal.

MEME 😆