🎩 Everton top

Plus: the toothbrushers in the Premier League

January 15, 2024

GM football fans. Route One here, the shin-pad of football entertainment - protecting you from the Monday Blues.

We’ve missed you… so let’s get right into it.

Today’s briefing is a ~4 min read:

  1. The Bridge’s toothbrushers 🪥

  2. Mo Salah’s last-minute penalty 🇪🇬

  3. Everton is a club of ‘firsts’ 🥇

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THE BRIDGE’S TOOTHBRUSHER 🪥

If we’re being honest, Chelsea vs Fulham wasn’t a blockbuster. 

One goal - a penalty - to seal the 3-points. Not much to write home about. 

But, there was something blockbuster that featured in the game. Five men brushing their teeth above the player dugout…

Why? Valid question. Well, it was to promote a new movie.

A new movie that we’re not going to say the name of… because we’re just that petty but also…  

… we don’t want to take the limelight away from Stamford Bridge’s OG toothbrusher. 

Yep, that’s right. This isn’t the first time someone in the crowd was caught getting rid of plaque from their gums…

The thing about this one is… we’re not sure there was a reason. 

We were going to reach out to the OG toothbrusher but - you know what they say - never meet your idols…

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AROUND THE WORLD IN 30 SECS 🌍

🇪🇸 Real Madrid win 4-1 in the Supercopa de España Final over Barcelona. Madrid has now won seven of nine meetings against Barca in the Spanish Super Cup Final. Eeeesh.

🇪🇬 Mohamed Salah’s 97th-minute penalty earns Egypt a daw with Mozambique in the AFCON group game on Sunday. The tournament hosts Ivory Coast start their campaign with a 2-0 victory over Guinea-Bissau.

🇳🇱 Ajax coach John van ‘t Schip (that’s spelt right) has confirmed the club’s interest in signing Jordan Henderson.

🇩🇪 Jadon Sancho came off the bench for Borussia Dortmund’s 3-0 Bundesliga win over Darmstadt to set up Marco Reus days after ending his Man United exile.

🇯🇵 Asia Cup favourites Japan won 4-2 in their opening game versus Vietnam. Reigning champions Qatar play their first group stage game on Wednesday against Tajikistan.

A CLUB OF ‘FIRSTS’ 🤝

Believe it or not… Everton has spent the most years in the top-flight Football League of any other current Premier League side. 

But that’s not the club’s only achievement. 

On Everton’s website, there’s a list of achievements longer than Man United’s injuries this season.

Here are some highlights… 

  • Founding members of the Football League in 1888. 

  • First club to play 100 seasons in the top flight. 

  • First club to be featured in a TV game (pre-recorded); August 1936 vs Arsenal.

First ever League table published in Cricket and Football Field on 15 September. Since the points system had not yet been introduced, the teams were listed in alphabetical order.

Yet, amongst this impressive list, there are also some questionable ‘achievements’…

  • First club to have its own podcast.

  • First club to sell tickets via text message. 

  • First club to have a church attached to its stadium.

I mean, that’s all well and good. 

But what’s next? 

First club to have double-glazed windows… first club to include EU-compliant plug sockets in the member’s lounge… first club to play George Michael’s ‘Careless Whisper’ in the dressing room? 

Anyway, credit to the person who’s keeping a record of all of this. They take their job seriously and we respect that.

R1’s take: The Toffees are part of the English top-flight fabric - and despite the onerous 10-point deduction this season, it looks like Dyche’s men are fighting to keep up their record. 

EXTRA-TIME ⏱️

It’s time for a game of Spot the Difference. Former Spurs man Jake Livermore scores two outside-the-box goals within five minutes for Watford.

We’ve given Wayne Rooney a fair bit of stick… but we love him really. And this performance in the Champions League at just 18 is party why.

Ok, this might be the most random story in R1’s extra-time history. Eastenders actor Dean Gaffney was catapulted in the air by Wesley Fofana’s Lamborghini in 2022… speaking of, where is the £60m signing?

Who remembers when this clip of Mesut Özil went viral? He was doing stuff with chewing gum better than most players with a ball.

MEME 😆

Source: @nocontextfm1

Source: @abzinooo10

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