GM football fans. Route One here, the football newsletter which never takes a sick day… even after the Christmas party. 🎄

Today’s briefing is a ~4 min read:

1. On this day in 1935… Ted Drake’s top-flight record

2. Extra time: Cantona’s Kung-Fu kick was the least of Ferguson’s worries

3. Throwback Thursday: Danny Butterfield’s perfect hat-trick

Tomorrow’s edition features FPL analysis ahead of Gameweek 17.

Morning Brief 🗞️

ON THIS DAY IN 1935: 7 GOALS AT VILLA PARK

Scoring one goal in a game feels great.

Two goals will make your day.

Three will make your week.

And scoring seven in one game makes you a legend.

And that is exactly what Arsenal’s Ted Drake did on this day in 1935.

He scored seven goals against Aston Villa at Villa Park while 60,891 fans spectated. 

Drake set a record for goals scored in a single match by a player in the top division. And his goal haul remains unbroken by any Arsenal player to this day.

Despite his record standing the test of time, a lot of things have changed since 1935… 

Sunderland was flying high at the top of Division 1 and would go on to win their sixth English title.

And Aston Villa went on to be relegated. 

During 1935/36, Villa Park was a stadium all away teams looked forward to visiting, especially after their opening game of the season finished in a 7-1 defeat.

They lost eight games at home the season they were relegated.

But fast forward to 2023 and things couldn’t be more different at Villa Park…

• The boys from Birmingham sit third in the league, almost halfway into the Premier League season.

• They are two points off the top spot.

• They’ve won 15 conservative league games at home whilst scoring 39 and conceding seven in the same period.

Villa Park has become one of the hardest stadiums to visit in all of Europe.

And things are only looking up…

Aston Villa face five teams in the bottom half of the table in their next seven Premier League games.

You can see why the T-word (“title”) has been banned from their dressing room.

The Villa boys want to stop any hysteria or unnecessary pressure from entering their psyche.

But it looks like the 2023/24 Aston Villa team has a chance to make some history of its own.

EXTRA-TIME ⏱️

Bayern Munich boss Thomas Tuchel made sure to enjoy himself after their win against United in the Champions League on Tuesday. He partied till 2 am with his Brazilian girlfriend… while his players got an early night.

After a player Kung-Fu kicks a spectator, you’d expect the halftime team talk to take care of itself… well according to Lee Sharpe, Eric Cantona’s famous outburst was the least of Sir Alex Ferguson’s concerns at the halfway point. 🤣

Many would like to go on a night out with football royalty Ronaldinho. But this Instagram model was none the wiser whilst partying with the Brazilian legend.

Liverpool vs Manchester United is always a tight affair… but maybe not this year. Liverpool are expected to score more goals against United than they did against Fulham or Luton! Sums up United’s season…

As you know, Giorgio Chiellini retired this week, but what you probably didn’t know is that Juventus unveiled the world’s biggest shirt in his honour.

THROWBACK THURSDAY: DANNY BUTTERFIELD’S PERFECT HAT-TRICK

Neil Warnock is an interesting character. No story sums him up better than when he let his wife decide the teamsheet in the 2009-10 FA Cup fourth-round replay.

As Crystal Palace manager, Warnock faced a difficult challenge. 

Days before their FA Cup clash with Wolverhampton, the club entered administration. To make things worse, they had just been awarded a 10-point deduction that had drawn them into the relegation battle at the bottom of the Championship.

Palace were scrambling for funds and was forced to sell their main forward Victor Moses.

On the brink of collapse, a win against Wolves would secure Palace prize money which could reverse their fortunes, quite literally.

It was a crisp winter morning in February. Sitting in bed next to Sharon, his wife, Warnock was anxious about the upcoming game. But she had an epiphany which put Warnock at ease.

“I’ve had a weird dream. I think that your right-back will score the winning goal today,” said Sharon.

With little attacking options, Warnock had no option but to trust his wife’s gut instincts. 

As the Palace players sat in the changing rooms at Selhurst Park, Warnock ushered for silence and delivered a surprising team talk: “Danny Butterfield, you’re playing up front.”

Palace’s right-back Danny Butterfield - who had scored six times in 240 Palace games - wasn’t exactly the most likely to spearhead the team at one of its most precarious moments. 

“It was a little bit comical, but it was also a bit of a freebie for the squad and for me, thinking ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’, we’re on TV, the club get money, and we’ve got a chance of beating Wolves in a one-off game… that was the mentality going into it,” recalls Butterfield.

The makeshift striker was encouraged to be a nuisance as Palace would play direct to Alan Lee in the hope that Butterfield could feed off his flick-ons. But, he failed to make his mark in the first half and worried he might be taken off.

Regardless, Warnock remembered what his wife had told him. 

Butterfield had experience as a striker for his Under-12 team and his instincts kicked in during the second half.

After 62 minutes of play, Wayne Hennessey denied Matt Lawrence’s header, the ball teed up perfectly for Butterfield to header it confidently to give Palace the lead. 

Just three minutes later, Butterfield caught the end of Darren Ambrose’s through-ball, marginally missed a last-ditch tackle, and bobbled a right-footed shot beneath Hennessey’s arm. 

The stadium erupted. 2-0 to Palace.

In the Sky Sports studio, Paul Merson couldn’t contain his excitement. Presenter, Ed Chamberlin, began to narrate over the games, “Two in three minutes has put Crystal Palace on the edge of a tie at home to Aston Vill-”, but was cut off by Merson’s scream.

“A hat-trick! It’s a hat-trick!” Merson shouted. “It’s 3-0!”

Butterfield had snuck between two defenders. As the ball fell to his feet, he shuffled the ball to his left foot and placed it neatly between the splayed legs of the goalkeeper. 

In as little as six minutes and 48 seconds, Butterfield had completed the perfect hat-trick and broke his club’s record for the fastest-ever three-goal haul.

That was Butterfield’s last game in a Palace shirt and perhaps his most important. In one game, he has secured his club over £330,000 in TV payments alone.

“I knew all the lads were happy for me because I was the dressing room joker and had been at the club such a long time. It was a really special moment for me, but as daft as it sounds, it was almost embarrassing at the same time – because that’s not what I do!” reflected Butterfield.

Warnock’s wife was proven right - but even in her dreams, she couldn’t picture such a magical moment.

If you want to see every goal, here ya go.

MEME 😆