Gm football fans. Route One here, we’re that friend that’ll try the takeaway food first, just to make sure it’s not too spicy for you.

Right, before we get into it, don’t forget that Fulham and Wolves play tonight at 8 pm on Sky Sports. We’ll report on this game in tomorrow’s newsletter.

Two other things to start your week:

• In case you missed it, Garnacho scored the goal of the season. There’s no beating that.

• Also, who knew that Raheem Sterling took free-kicks? Well, he apparently does quite well.

Anyway, let’s get into it.

Today’s briefing is a ~4 min read:

1. Jeremy Doku vs Trent Alexander-Arnold: what don’t the stats say? 🤔

2. ‘El Tel’: A Short History of Terry Venables… 🫡

3. Extra time: the fan that’s finally paid off his fine 😆

• Arsenal storm into poll position after beating Brentford 1-0. Out of form Kai Havertz secured the winner with a back post tap-in.

• Man City and Liverpool drew 1-1 in a game without any of the bells and whistles we hoped for. Haaland’s goal makes him the fastest player in history to reach 50 Premier League goals.

• Aston Villa beat Spurs 2-1. Pau Torres and Ollie Watkins made the score sheet as Tottenham faced their third consecutive league loss.

• Manchester United comfortably won 3-0 against Everton. There’s no doubt that Garnacho scored the goal of the season.

• Newcastle thrashed Chelsea 4-1. Who knew that Raheem Sterling took free kicks? We didn’t.

Morning Brief 🗞️

DOKU’S DRIBBLING DILEMMA ⛹🏻‍♂️

After much anticipation, Saturday’s monster clash, Manchester City v Liverpool didn’t deliver the fireworks we craved.

But it did give us some great match-ups to analyse:

• Pep vs Klopp - the best managers in the league battling for another title.

• Haaland vs Van Dijk.

• Ederson vs Alisson.

• Salah vs Diaz.

The list goes on.

But one clash stood out in particular…

Trent Alexander-Arnold (TAA) vs Jérémy Doku.

Liverpool’s talented right back vs Manchester City’s new star winger.

And according to the stats, Doku wiped the floor with TAA…

Opta stats say Doku dribbled past TAA seven times in 90 minutes.

Seven times.

That is the equivalent of Doku pantsing TAA in front of his teammates and then taking his sister out for dinner.

For a right-back, there is just no living down that kind of stat.

And don’t get me wrong, Doku had some success. But seven seemed too high to us. We watched the game. We didn’t see seven take-ones. No way.

So we did some digging…

And apparently, a player doesn’t have to dribble past a player to count as dribbling past a player.

Stay with me…

We watched the game back and counted THREE Doku dribbles.

The other four times Doku just cut back.

Our definition of dribble past: you have to run past your opponent with the ball at your feet. The same way you define it in the playground with your friends.

Obviously, the Opta dribble stat just isn’t right… and makes the R1 team call into question every other Opta stat.

With definitions like this, I wonder if I could break the Premier League goal-scoring record.

I might not even have to score. Or play…

EXTRA-TIME ⏱️

Worth every penny! After 13 years, this Man United fan has finally paid off a fine for hugging Wayne Rooney during a celebration. Apparently, it was a £400 fine which means he’s been paying £2.56 a month… not bad.

There’s Carragher, Neville, Keane, Richards and Souness… but what about Olly Murs? That’s right, the X Factor singer has chimed in with his hot-take. He thinks that Antony could be Man United’s next Riyad Mahrez. Eesh.

They don’t make them like Maradona anymore. While his nation’s anthem is being booed by the Italian crowd, he doesn’t hold back how he feels.

Chris Kamara has produced some great moments as a broadcaster. Here’s a classic with his touching tribute to George Best…

Some couples do long-distance better than others… well, Tom and Sarah seem to have it nailed. Maybe because Sarah is ok with Tom’s 800-mile round trips to watch Charlton on the weekend.

‘EL TEL’: A SHORT HISTORY OF LEGEND TERRY VENABLES 🫡

We don’t usually do tributes at R1, but given Terry Venables is known as England’s most gifted manager, we wanted to give this one a shot.

Over the weekend, footballing legend Terry Venables passed away at the age of 80.

Most of our readers would have never watched him play, but there’s a good chance many would’ve seen him manage.

Either way, here’s a short story of one of England’s greatest footballing products.

Let’s get into it…

Terry Venables was born in Dagenham during the Second World War.

By age 15, he had received interest from Spurs, West Ham, Manchester United and Chelsea.

He thought it’d be easiest to break into the Chelsea first team, so he signed forms giving him £5 a week. As he made the two-hour trip from one side of London to the other, most of his early wages were spent on his daily bus fares.

Venables made his debut at 17, alongside World Cup winner Jimmy Greaves.

His playing career was filled with ups and downs. But, as a clever inside forward, he proved his worth by racking up 202 league games for Chelsea, including winning the League Cup.

He also had spells across London, including Tottenham, QPR, and Crystal Palace, where he eventually started his managerial career.

And his best years came when he took over Palace who were in the Third Division at the time.

He won promotion to the Second Division in 1977 and, three years later, took his side into the top flight as champions.

The nickname ‘El Tel’ caught on once Venables took over as Barcelona boss. His success continued when he led Barca’s La Liga title campaign in 1985 - their first since 1974.

After a brief stint as Spurs manager, and winning the FA Cup in 1991, he was appointed England’s national team coach in 1994.

Venables had a streetwise sense of humour and tactical nous which meant he could get the best out of his players, none less than Paul Gascoigne.

Opting against disciplining Gascoigne for arriving late at Spurs training one morning with an ostrich (you read that right) was one such example.

As England boss, Venables claimed memorable wins over the Netherlands and Scotland in the 1996 European Championship. Key players, like Gascoigne and Alan Shearer, produced some of their best-ever football at Euro ‘96.

England were favourites to win Euro 96’ under Venables but were eliminated in the semi-final after an unlucky penalty shoot-out.

“I sit here today thinking back to my special times with Terry and without a shadow of a doubt can say he is the most technically gifted British coach that I’ve ever seen and we’ve ever produced,” Gary Neville wrote on LinkedIn.

Venables won’t just be remembered as one of England’s greatest coaches, but also as a larger-than-life character who instilled trust in his players.

MEME 😆