Gm football fans.

Route One here, the football newsletter that pairs perfectly with a morning coffee or buttery toast.

We’re at the tail-end of the international break, so expect FPL content to trickle back into the newsletter each day. Send us your teams by replying to this email and we’ll provide you with tailored advice!

Today’s briefing is a ~5 min read:

• Win-win for the Glazers in the latest United takeover development 🥴

• Elneny is completing side projects whilst warming the bench 😆

• Extra Time: latest on Daniel Strurridge’s arrest warrant 🚔

• International Break is still going on apparently… 🥱

🗞️ Morning Brief

UNITED’S SHEIKH-UP 🥴

What do you get when you cross a greedy billionaire with a poorly run club?

It’s not a trick question. Promise….

The United takeover just got more bizarre. In case you haven’t heard, everything’s been flipped upside down:

• Sheikh Jassim has pulled out of buying the club outright

• Sir Jim Ratcliffe is set to pay £1.35bn for a 25% co-ownership

• Gary Neville’s fingers ache after drafting 16 questions to Ratcliffe on X after hearing the news

Get this, Sheikh Jassim says that he offered “almost double” United’s current stock market valuation of $3.2bn. He also pledged $1.7bn of investment in infrastructure.

Ahhhhhh absolute bliss. Exactly what the fans would want. Investment.

Wait. That wouldn’t be very Glazer-like, would it?

Yes, my friend, you’re right.

Instead, Ratcliffe, the self-proclaimed boyhood United fan - who already tried to purchase Chelsea - is going to get a minority share.

What does this achieve? Well, the Glazers stay, the debt stays, and the pesky rodents and leaky roof definitely stay.

Moral of the story: The Glazers do what the Glazers wanna do.

ELNENY FC 🤣

Hey Neny, fancy a 1.5-year contract after 9 appearances in 2 seasons?

Elneny: Sounds like my kinda deal bois.

It went something like that…

So what would you do with all that new contract cash?

You have the time because you aren’t playing. You’re married and devoutly religious so a party-boy lifestyle is out of the question.

I’ve got a corker of an idea: start your own club!

But what you’re gonna call it? Any ideas anyone?

Why not name it after the CEO/COO/CFO/Manager/Head Coach/Head Chef/No.10/Club Captain/Club Emperor to be… Mohamed Elneny? Excellent idea.

ELNENY FC.

The website is a bit strange.

It has limited information, but has a rolling video of Elneny explaining he is not really sure how to coach himself.

But, the club’s goal is to find and nurture young talent, which we commend.

We have a good feeling about this venture…

EXTRA-TIME ⏱️

Sandro Tonali investigated for betting breaches. The midfielder has had to leave Italy’s training camp to head back to Newcastle. (we don’t know which part is worse.)

Daniel Sturridge has an arrest warrant out for him. He failed to appear in a Los Angeles court over a $30,000 reward he owes to a man who found his missing dog in 2019. Anyone seen Daniel recently?

Liverpool are victims… again. This is the 14th time Liverpool has the 12.30 spot after the international break under Klopp. We might have to start listening to Jurgen on this one.

Is this the worst shot of all time? Maddison is a baller that the streets will respect for a long time. But blimey boy, check this out.

Callum Wilson gets spiritual on X. With a shirt off and striking the ball, Wilson captions his post “You get what you work for, not what you wish for.” 4 goals in 6 gives him the right to preach…

INTERNATIONAL BREAK 🥱

We’ll be honest. No one at R1 HQ watched any of the games.

But we got someone who was willing to waste their weekend to summarise the “action” for you…

ENGLAND 1 - 0 AUSTRALIA (FRIENDLY)

Goal: Ollie Watkins

Assist: Jack Grealish

MOTM: Ollie Watkins

Lewis Dunk and TAA played well too…apparently.

EURO QUALIFIERS

England has Italy coming up on Tuesday at Wembley.

First vs Second in Group C. Excited yet?

If you’re more enthusiastic than me - tune in to Channel 4 for a nice excuse to watch football with the significant other.

😆 MEME

Interesting management style. But we don’t condone another mother-related insult…