Gm football fans. Route One here, your one-stop shop for football news, laughs, and everything in between.

Today’s briefing is a ~4 min read:

1. PGMOL release Newcastle vs Arsenal VAR tape 📼

2. Quick hit stats: Jeremy Doku breaks an assist record 🤩

3. Football regulators make case for ‘naughty step’ in games 🍼

Morning Brief 🗞️

PGMOL RELEASE VAR AUDIO 📼

We’ve got something tasty for you…

The Professional Game Match Officials Limited (PGMOL) have released the VAR audio for Anthony Gordon's goal for Newcastle vs Arsenal.

VAR checked three separate incidents before allowing Gordon’s goal to stand:

• Whether the ball went out of play for an Arsenal goal-kick.

• Whether Joelinton committed a foul on Gabriel.

• Whether Anthony Gordon was offside.

After the game, Arsenal manager Mikel Arteta described VAR as “embarrassing, a disgrace and makes me feel sick.”

The club went all in after releasing a statement that backed their manager the following day.

But, finally, the verdict is in… drum-roll please… 🥁

The tapes show that VAR followed the correct process.

In the clips, VAR Andy Madley says there was “no conclusive evidence” that:

• The ball had crossed the line before Joe Willock’s cross in the build-up.

• Joelinton had committed a foul.

Madley informed on-field referee Stuart Atwell that: "I don’t see a specific foul on Gabriel. I see two hands on his back but I don’t see anything of a push that warrants him flying forward like that."

Essentially, the video footage wasn’t good enough for VAR to make a decision on all three aspects.

But that doesn't mean that VAR got it wrong.

In PGMOL’s Match Officials Mic’d Up show, presented by Michael Owen, former manager Howard Webb echoed that there was “no clear evidence” to overturn all three decisions… “so the process was correct”.

Frustrating, yes… but not cause for a VAR rant.

The biggest takeaway from this: Michael Owen has a short temper. After receiving some bad press for the Mic’d Up show, he wasn’t too pleased…

QUICK HIT STATS 💉

😯 Chelsea’s last five league games have produced 24 goals. That’s more than any other team in that time.

⚽️ Bryan Mbeumo has an expected goals (xG) of 7.2, only Erling Haaland, Mohamed Salah and Nicolas Jackson have more than him this season. Brentford’s main man gets into good goalscoring positions despite playing for a team that averages just 47.6% possession.

🤩 Jeremy Doku became the youngest player in Premier League history with five-goal involvements in a single game at 21 years and 161 days.

😬 Manchester United have recorded one goal between seven forwards with Rasmus Hojlund yet to score in the league. Their top goalscorer is a defensive midfielder.

🤔 Jadon Bowen has 71 touches in the opposition box this season, accounting for 24.4% of West Ham’s total. He also became the first player in Premier League history to score in his first six away games of a season.

THE CASE FOR THE ‘NAUGHTY STEP’ 😆

Remember that rhyme: sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me.

Well, apparently this doesn't apply in the Premier League.

Referees feeling are getting hurt.

So… football lawmakers are thinking about introducing a ten-minute sin-bin for dissent.

Or, in other words, a naughty step for grown men.

Why?

• They want to tackle misbehaviour in the sport.

• This season has already seen 88 bookings for dissent.

• Apparently, sin-bins have been popular in grassroots football since their introduction in 2019.

• FA research has seen a marked decrease in dissent at the grassroots since the sin-bin pilot was implemented.

The report claims that trials are just for dissent, but eventually, they want to use sin-bins for foul play or other offences.

To be honest, we can’t wait to hear the chants as players sit on the sin-bin.

EXTRA-TIME ⏱️

Vinnie Jones’ ‘tackle’ on Eric Cantona in 1994 wasn’t too bad. He only tackled him waist-high and nearly broke his leg. The best part… Cantona stands up straight away.

Arsenal’s Gabriel takes no prisoners. He shows Brazilian youngster Endrick that no one’s safe. Not even in training.

Marcus Rashford’s team apparently want United to commission a statue of him. The forward was left disappointed when United refused to entertain the idea.

Even the best players get embarrassed. Here’s a clip of Ballon d’Or winner Kaka being nutmegged at 7-aside. It’s a shame the fella misplaced a 6-yard pass after.

What’s this skill called? Who is this player? Someone sign him now. This is the best 1 v 1 tekkers we’ve seen since Messi nutmegged James Milner before calling him a donkey.

MEME 😆